3 Weeks in...

So I have officially survived 3 weeks in my job. And there was nowhere near the trauma involved in my first week of RA training where I overslept, tore my pants, and ruined one of my favorite shirts. For the first week there was alot of administrative stuff... a generic company training about time cards and IT security and stuff on the first day, and the day to go fill out the stuff for our security clearance check. Then week 2 was something called training academy, for new people in the Mission Operations Directorate (how cool is it that I'm part of a "directorate"? sounds so official!) So the good thing about that is that I met some other new people and we went on some tours and listened to some overview stuff. And week three was basically just reading. Our official training, the stuff that makes us ready to be flight controllers, isnt until September so until then I am basically sitting at my desk reading the manuals for the systems I'm gonna be working with. Its not particularly exciting but I am learning stuff. The dizzying tech drawings are getting a little clear which is kinda exciting.
And I'm sitting on MY couch. Like really mine. Its comfy and big and has perfect height armrests to serve as pillows when lying down. And I have already damaged my bed with some ill placed handcuffs. Well worth it. Now that I've gotten all my stuff the place is kinda a mess. I set up my TV and all my peripherals and the built in wall unit for TV stuff actually works really well with my setup. Its getting there. Slowly but getting there. I like my apartment, the space seems about right thought I could go for a few more kitchen cabinets. I want to not move out of this place until Rami graduates and moves out here, though we'll see what hurricane season brings because I am in the second evacuation zone of 4 and they did get evacuated for Rita in 05 (we just got the hurricane safety briefing at work, the other two people who started on the same day as me were a little freaked out cuz they're from the midwest and theres no hurricanes there). Its way too much of a hassle to evacuate, so if I get evacuated this year, I'll have to look for a place farther inland. But otherwise, it would be so much easier to stay and settle in. In the past 4 years I've lived in 3 different places and moving that much is no fun. It would be nice to stick to a place and get comfortable.
As for life... well I miss Rami terribly. And I miss home and my friends, I'm comfortable here and its starting to look like home but it all feels kinda temporary. Until I really make friends, I'll always feel a little lost and out of place. And my life really is holding, waiting for Rami. If we are going to be together, and I hope and think that we will, then I can't move forward, I can't make plans, I can't get married and have kids and make my whole life... I can't do any of that until he graduates. In 4 years I'll be old. Almost 26, thats like true blue adult. And faced with being a real adult, having a job, owning furniture, paying my electricity bill and my cable bill and my car insurance... thank god I dont have to worry too much about what I can afford. I mean I'm not gonna go crazy and spend everything, but I can't imagine how much energy it consumes calculating every month, every purchase, and counting whether you can make ends meet. At least I know I can afford the important stuff like power... and internet, hehe. I dont know it just feels like I would like my life to start sooner. Like I want to dive right in and wake up next to him every day and go off and be grown up and... I dunno. I don't blame him for being young, its certainly nobody's fault (except UCF's fucked up chem department) that he has to stay there and I have to be here. I don't know... it just sucks to have to wait so long.
And theres so many ways it could go wrong, so many ways we could fall apart along the way. What if I wait all this time for a failure? What if, in the end, its just not right?
Anyways, enough of this. Gotta finish some laundry cuz my family is coming tomorrow and I need the place to be ready for company.