Summer almost over..

And it shocks me how all of a sudden that doesnt mean anything to me. Not really anyways. I've had interesting summers... SSTP in 03, that amazing summer hanging out with Ed and Bon until all hours of the night at Starlight Diner, SSTP counseloring, the cruise in Russia... and that brings us to this year. It sure has been interesting... graduation, the cruise, one last trip to Orlando, and then moving to Texas to start work. At which point the date stopped carrying meaning. Because with the exception of the week and a half we get off for Christmas (they tried to call it "winter holiday" break as if anyone believes its not because of christmas. As an aside, I am actually more offended when people pretend theyre trying to be inclusive than if they would just admit its for a christian holiday. Hannukah is both barely a holiday worth mentioning and not one that needs days off of school for, and over well before this Christmas vacation ever starts. If you want to be inclusive, give me holidays for the high holidays... or passover. Or stop pretending.)... anyways, aside from that break, and the weather, it might as well be any day of the year. As for the weather... the days are as hot but the rains have come back and I've noticed the evenings are getting cooler. In a couple months, it will be winter. And I know my new coworkers from Minnesota and Illinois will think I'm crazy when I start wearing sweatshirts and acting like hell is freezing over when the temp drops below 60, but I can't help that -40 degree winters are not in my experience. And though we do go to New Hampshire, thats a week and its usually pretty mild (in the teens) and I wear way more clothes in that situation too.

I'm a little bummed that until I have children, summer is just another 3 months of the year. I will miss having all the adventures I used to, but I guess its time to grow up. I am starting to get excited for the fall semester anyways. Probably more than ever before since I'm not taking classes so it doesnt mean homework and earlier mornings (although waking up at 6:3o is my life now and thats no picnic). What it does mean for me is football and trips back to florida. I am going back in less than 2 weeks to see, in no particular order: UCF football opener, Rami, parents and sister, friends, Pita Pit, and Steak and Shake. I will say that I miss those two restaurants, you just can't get a good gyro at 4am or a milkshake with hot fudge in it without them. What kind of horrible city doesnt have a Steak and Shake especially. So yeah, I'm excited for that. And I'm planning to go back for Homecoming too, and Thanksgiving which is a 4 day weekend, and then finally making it through those 3 months, Rami is coming in December for a whole week, then skiiing, then home, then to Orlando for New Years.

I can't wait for the next time I see Rami. Its as hard as ever, and I'm as lonely as ever, and hes with his family for late nights, unplanned activities... I don't get the chance to hear about his day because by the time he isnt doing something its bedtime. Then I gotta get up and he gets dragged off and its just hard... I feel like for the past week I don't really know whats gone on in his life. Bits and pieces maybe... but its isolating, and I'm already isolated enough way the heck out here without seeing all the people I used to see every day. I break down from time to time, most recently on Friday night. I'm just lonely and afraid of being forgotten. By him, by everyone. Heck even my mother momentarily forgot I didn't live in Florida anymore. I love my job and its a cool opportunity and its amazing but at the same time I keep thinking, what if I could have gotten a job at Kennedy? Or with Lockheed? Or Harris? I would be there. My friends would be closer. And the love of my life wouldn't be 1000 miles away. He would be at most a 90 minute drive. I guess its silly but I can't help thinking about it. And if we don't make it, I will forever wonder how different it could have been if I could have stayed. If I could have been a year younger or just a standard 5 year engineer and could have had a year left, another year to be with him. As in really with him.

Other stuff going on... Started playing softball with this group I met through work. It was fun but my body really hurt. Throwing shoulder obviously, but also my abs and my legs. The last was unexpected since I have been running for a while now. It was fun though, I have missed softball and this league isnt too competitive, its more for the fun so I enjoyed it.
Yesterday I played paintball for the first time. Went with people from work as kinda a going away event for an intern that goes to Univ. of Alaska in a frozen tundra thats dark all winter. It was kinda cool. It rained the whole time so it was really muddy and I was filthy. I'm also not great, but it was alot of fun. With practice and without the rain and maybe with a better face mask I think it would be even more fun and I would certainly try it again. It wasn't cheap, but also wasnt terribly expensive. $30 for the day, and we spent 5 hours there so it was alot of entertainment... plus possibly ruined clothes. After though, and I'm not sure why or what I did, my neck has been killing me. I think its muscle rather than needing to crack it and it hurts alot to turn my head to the right or lean forward. I was hoping overnight it would get better but it feels about the same.
And today, since it was sales tax free weekend, I did a little shopping. Bought some new bras and Express had their super expensive but really cute work pants on sale so I bought more. That brings me up to 5 pants I can wear to work, plus jeans on casual fridays, so I can throw a few more into the rotation. Disappointingly I'm still a size 10 there, and a 36 band size which is a little bigger than last summer when I last bought bras but I guess I like comfortable clothes so I wouldnt try to squeeze into smaller. And I think if I can reign my eating habits in a little better and keep up with the running, I can get a bit more in shape and fit back into my teeny jeans (ok theyre a size 8, not exactly teeny but there is something to be said for double digits. But theyre snug and make my butt look good, plus theyre dark enough to wear to work during the week so if I can fit them comfortably (I can already squeeze into them, but to sit for 9 hours I need them to really fit) I can wear them and have even more pants in my small work clothing rotation.

And I was looking for a place to get a bikini wax... couldnt really find one so I have a plan B and a plan C to put into work before I go to Orlando, but what exactly that is, is gonna be a surprise. I've also been looking for a place to get a haircut. I'm scared though, cuz I've never gotten my hair cut at like a random super cuts kinda place, and the same person has cut my hair since I'm like 8, she did hair for all of our bar/bat mitzvahs and if I somehow manage to get married in South Florida, I hope I can get her to do that too cuz shes awesome. And I never really went in with a plan, just said it needs to be shorter and a general length in mind and let her go at it. With a generic place, that could turn out really bad. But I guess how much do I care about my hear anyways? Not too much, so as long as they don't shave my head and expose the bump, I should be ok. Hehe. Anyways, I guess thats all I have to write. Gonna go rustle up some dinner before heading to bed.

Anyways, love you guys. Hope all is well with you. As you can see, I'm hanging in.